I don’t like the dark. Last night when I kept waking up, after being asleep for an hour, I realized how much I dislike the dark. In fact, I decided that mortality demands that we humans sleep at night because night is best avoided by being asleep. Asleep, your mind is not cognizant of the dark. When I wake up in the night, too many thoughts flood my mind. Things that I can handle during the day become ominous in the dark.The circadian rhythm of sleeping is a blessing.

I got up at 1 and rummaged through my drawer for a sleeping pill — half of a unisom. I knew I’d be hung over in the morning but I would be tired anyway, waking up constantly. During the sunlight hours, I get confirmation that everything is going to be fine. If you’re a mom or dad you know how much your life changes.

My last child is turning in his mission papers. I was not planning on him going at age 18, but there you have the announcement from President Monson and my son leapt for joy. I believe this is right (in the daylight) but I get anxiety when I wake-up in quiet of the night. Where will he go, and will he be safe, and will he adjust to the new surroundings and schedules. During the day I am confident that it is in the hands of God. I believe President Eyring’s message about how they look at the prospective missionary’s photo and feel prompted to where he/she should go. I watched the video about it.

I guess I do better at receiving revelation during the daylight. The sunlight makes me feel confident. I guess that’s why we so often talk about the light, receiving greater light and knowledge. Dark is symbolic of trouble and so I feel that at night. First thing I do in the morning is look outside for the rising sun. It’s no coincidence that it rises in the east. We need sunlight. Teenagers need daily morning light — it’s not good to stay up late and sleep in.

I could never live happily in those places that receive so little sunlight due to location or cloudy weather. One week of gloom and I am feeling down. This morning it is bright and clear and the sun is streaming through my bedroom window. Now I am at peace. And thankful for the light. But you know what? I couldn’t appreciate the light without the dark. But let me sleep through it.

Featured Image:’”Darkness Over Eden”’ Photo taken by Kabir Bakie May