In my journey of study, I often change my hypothesis. It’s sometimes difficult to decipher truth from error in this world, so don’t hold me accountable for my beliefs because they will probably change (or evolve is a better word.)

I find it interesting how God leads me along. He seems to put things in my path that nudge me in a certain direction. Even before I ask for it — or even if I have not asked for it. And sometimes, seemingly bad things turn out to have some hidden gift. For example, Covid-19 forced me to stop attending church in person, leaving Zoom as the only way. I think I taught one class on Zoom, and then the stake decided to change the ward boundaries and slice off a few families to go into another ward — a very odd and inconsiderate time to do that (in my opinion.) I tried a few zoom sacrament meetings, but I didn’t know anyone, and it was boring, so I stopped. We could have the sacrament at home, which was good enough for me — I saw the ritual with new eyes. The blessing on the sacrament became more personal  —  by changing the pronouns from “those” and “they” to “us” and “we” — (please, no criticism or shaming here), I felt more committed, more present. In fact, a while ago, I realized that using thee and thou was not necessary but something that had become a tradition due to the language of the time period of King James.

Today, I like to say I’m a retired Mormon. Retired with some damage and some knowledge and a lot of experiences. The little bit of space during Covid made it easier for me to reaccess everything. I felt like I got the golden ticket — Step back, look around, and study on my own.

I was reading some of Margaret Barker’s books, Temple Theology,  The great Angel, Temple Mysticism, and her commentary on Isaiah. I was surprised to learn about the Deuteronomists and how much they influenced the books in the Bible canon. I had been listening to podcasts from The Bible Project. I followed those with one of their recommended books, Misreading Scriptures with Western Eyes. Which led me to Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes.

And then other books seemed to fall in my path. I found some interesting things about the Nephilim and fallen angels in a couple of books by Brian Godawa — When Giants were Upon the Earth.  and When Watchers ruled the Nations.

And then, I came across a book titled The Meaning of Mary Magdalene: Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity and started to listen to that. Which led me to the Gospel of Phillip, the Gospel of Mary, and the Gospel of Thomas. And that’s where I am now — discovering what happened to the female divinity (more on that later.)

I began to think that there are many paths to God. I was having difficulty believing that only the LDS church had the truth or only Isaiah had the truth. I kept thinking about the other cultures on the earth. Wouldn’t each culture have its own books, history, and servants? Take the Book of Mormon — it’s a history of the people who left Jerusalem in 600 BC and lived on what is now the American continent. It’s about their people, their ancestors, and the promises made to them. Sure, it talks about the gentiles on the same continent, but it does not include the people in India, Africa, Australia, the Philippines, China, Europe, Russia… Surely these people must have ancestors with sacred books too. I realized how difficult it would be for one of those foreign groups to bring me their books and tell me they had all the truth through their ancestors.

Then my daughter gave me a book she thought I might enjoy with a similar perspective — Bringing Heaven Home — that 12 gates are symbolic of other paths to Zion. The author found that everyone he met and with whom he studied  — thought their way was the only way, yet he realized that these people had similar spiritual experiences. I have been so engrained to believe my church was the only way. But if God is truly no respecter of persons — He must have many paths from all cultures leading to truth and light. We are a people who have ancestral ties — our family histories are important and significant to us. Journals from my ancestors speak to me. Sacred books from other cultures speak to them. Branches of other trees can be grafted to the tree of truth and light. I have much more compassion for all people in their journey in life. I find it rather arrogant and somewhat embarrassing to say to someone that my way is the only way to God.

So I’m thinking that there are servants of God for each culture of the world because there is more than one gate to enter Jerusalem/Zion.

The earliest known map of Jerusalem, and oldest known geographic floor mosaic in art history.[10] The mosaic was discovered in 1884, but no research was carried out until 1896.[10][11] It has been heavily used for the localisation and verification of sites in Byzantine Jerusalem, such as the Damascus Gate, the Lions’ Gate, the Golden Gate, the Zion Gate, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and the Tower of David; in 1967, excavations revealed The Nea church and the Cardo Maximus (the road depicted in the map that runs through the centre of Jerusalem) in the locations suggested by the Madaba Map.

The first scientific relief model of the city.[71] It was constructed between 1864 and 1873 for the 1873 Vienna World’s Fair, from molten and beaten zinc at 1:500 scale.[70] It was displayed for more than 40 years at Geneva’s Calvinium, when it was moved into storage in 1920 to make way for the League of Nations; rediscovered in 1984, it has been exhibited at the Tower of David Museum in Jerusalem since the 1990s.