Is it ok to go on a long vacation and leave your little kids  —  let’s say a 19-month old baby, a 3-year old, a 5-year old  — for nine days? Do they understand that mommy and daddy will be back in nine days.  According to Early Childhood Today, they don’t understand the concept of time at this age . If this is just a pleasure trip (no emergency), consider getting away for a day instead. Or at least, take the 19-month old with you (Dr. Sears recommends this). Maybe leave the older kids with trustworthy grandparents, take the baby. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.  They recommend a close contact with kids age two and under.

Social Worker James Robertson filmed a two year old girl who went to the hospital and was separated from her mother for fourteen days. — at 1952 London. (James Robertson films and research)

“The restraint and objectivity of the film may at first re­assure, for the child is unusually composed for her age, but few nurses will doubt the degree of her distress, the signs of which they have so often felt powerless to relieve.”—Nursing Times.

 

“. . . explodes the belief that a ‘good’ child is well­-adjusted.”—Nursing Outlook.

 

“Though the standard of care in the hospital was high she undoubtedly fretted.” -British Medical Journal.

 

“. . . convincing and brilliant demonstration ad oculos of the outward manifestations of the inner processes that occur in infants who find themselves unexpec­tedly and traumatically without their families.”—Anna Freud, LL.D., International Journal of Psychoanalysis.

 

“…a connected and credible demonstration of stress, separation anxiety, early defensive manoeuvres, and topics akin. .also a social document of honest power. Without preaching, it bears a message of reform. . .”—Contemporary Psychology.

If you take care of someone’s children, you also have a legal responsibility for these kids — their safety and health, etc.

When I watched my friend’s 12-year old son, she left me with her power of attorney for medical treatment and she told me where her last will and testament was kept. It’s not just about you, the legal impact must be covered. If you watch someone’s dear children or leave yours with family remember to leave the power of attorney for medical and it must be notarized by all parties involved, according to someone who found out the hard way. You and the babysitters. For legal medical forms click  here. (when you do go)

I chose to have five kids; I decided to look at it as a career and I chose not to leave my little kids and travel — we brought them along. Sure, it was tough and I gave up a chance to go to Europe and on other vacations, but I don’t regret it. My hubby and I have had lots of time together, without the kids; we have a great marriage of 35 years. Life is tough and messy, but we have hung in there and made it work for us. When you are religious, life has a meaning that extends beyond the comforts of everyday life. Sacrifice brings happiness, something that is not always easily understood.

One of my favorite classic movies is “Move Over Darling” — Doris Day goes on a little cruise to get a break from the all the babies’ teething. She ends up on a deserted island for 7 years and when she finally gets rescued she comes home to find her husband re-married, and the kids don’t know her. This is humor — some people may not get my sense of humor.  It’s a remake of an even funnier film with Cary Grant and Irene Dunn, “My Favorite Wife.” 

**This post was syndicated by blogher and the editor changed the title to “Why parents shouldn’t go on vacation without their children” — Wow. That’s not what I said. The editor had emailed me and said how much she liked the post and then she was one of the commenters who slammed me. I guess she wanted the post to get traffic and controversy at blogher — I got 200 nasty comments. It was not a good day. A blog is a web log — of thoughts and opinons. Sometimes I have to re-think my post, sometimes I realize it came across too harsh, or maybe someone might take it in a way not intended.  From their comments, I learned that most women think it is fine to leave your baby with whoever, that it is even good for babies and small children to learn to stay away from mom and get used to strangers. I learned that these women thought I was judging them and they hate the old Doris Day movies and my writing and my life. I am not confrontational at all, I hate conflict. I know some women have to work and use daycare, this was not about that.