What’s that you say? Hygge. Introvert. I’m very comfortable with those two words defining me.

Introvert

Yes, I’m more of an introvert than an extrovert. Finally someone speaks up for the introverts — not me but Susan Cain, author of the book, Quiet:  The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Though most of us are some of each — introvert and extrovert.  But I identify more with the quiet group — especially after reading her book.  I’m more like the professor that Susan describes in her book — he was a teacher, lecturer — but instead of eating and socializing at large gatherings, he took a stroll around the harbor. I work in an industry that requires some socializing — I can do it. The smaller the group the better.

I can do the social thing, but it tires me out — it doesn’t energize me like it does for some people.  I need my space, my quiet time. Don’t get me wrong, I can be social on the fly, but I really hate parties. I try my best though when I need to be at a business associates wedding reception or other social event. I usually find one or two people to talk with and if I’m lucky, someone interesting. At the Sikh wedding I attended with my husband, we walked  to an obscure table to eat our very traditional Indian meal , and another guest joined us. That’s perfect for socializing — he was a professor from Stanford and delightful to talk with. I learned about how to make new habits. So, yes, I socialize in small groups. I’m always curious about people, though I have been accused of being too much like an interviewer in my curiosity. I loved learning about the wedding ceremony, so it was well worth finding my way around the large gathering.

Many years ago, a friend said — “Deila, you have a low social need.” Yes — I do. She didn’t expect me to be at the Relief Society parties or Christmas parties. Sure, I did it for many years, feeling like I had to get involved. But as I got older I felt more comfortable owning my preference to not always show up at gatherings. I joined the book club here, but I have yet to show up at their monthly meet-up. And I don’t feel guilty about that either.

I don’t like to answer my phone. I remember when answering machines became the latest thing. Ah, finally, I could let the phone go to the machine. Listen later. Now it’s even easier with cell phones, caller ID, and transcribed voicemail. Must have been invented by an introvert. My husband is the same way. So we just need to look at each other, and we’re both ready to leave a social event. Half-time — yea we’re out the door, on our way home. We came, we saw, we left. I found this little clip to adequately describe me:

Hygge (hoo-ga)

My DNA is heavy in Scandinavian — Norway, Sweden, Denmark, and Iceland — which matches many of my hard-wired preferences. I  read a book on Danish Hygge which described me spot-on. What is hygge? According to Meik Wiking:

Hygge appeared in written Danish for the first time in the early 1800s, but the word is actually Norwegian in origin. Between 1397 and 1814, Denmark and Norway were one kingdom…

The original word in Norwegian means well-being. However, hygge might originate from the word hug. Hug comes from the 1560s word hugge, which means “to embrace.” The word hugge is of unknown origin—maybe it originates from the Old Norse hygge, which means “to comfort,” which comes from the word hugr, meaning “mood.” In turn, that word comes from the Germanic word hugjan, which relates to the Old English hycgan, meaning “to think, consider.”

Interestingly, consideration, mood comfort, hug, and well-being may all be words to describe elements of what hygge is today. (Meik Wiking, The Little Book of Hygge, p. 28)

So, some elements of hygge that fit me to a T — I hate overhead lighting — it makes me squirm. I love cozy pools of lights for reading, a crocheted blanket, a cup of warm Chai, and maybe a quiet background music of Louis Armstrong. Or no music, just the sounds of nature. Or the flickering fire. Oh, and I definitely love me a good cardamom bun. Or any Danish cookie. And if you call me, I may not answer. Unless you are family. I always answer for family. Family is my tribe.

Some of the rules of hygge set out by Meik Wiking in his book:

1 – turn down lights or throw a log in the fire or light some candles

2- turn off the cell phones

3 – enjoy comfort food, homemade

4- share the tasks of cooking those homemade foods and talking (no one monopolize here)

5 –  be grateful for the moment

6- encourage harmony, don’t brag, it’s not a competition here

7 – be comfortable , relax

8 – call a truce, no political bashing

9 – enjoy togetherness, remembering other good hygge times

10 – shelter here, this is your tribe, this is a safe place (Meik Wiking, The Little Book of Hygge)

Hej. Hej.

 

(links to books on Amazon affiliate)