June 2011
I have been a little freaked out lately. The chaos in my life has been difficult. As some of you know, we have been without work/income for over a year. The newest and latest project has been the prospects of doing waste-to-energy projects in Mexico. Our savings we have used, the credit cards that I promised not to use, have been used, with promises of these new ventures…in of all places, Mexico. We’re both in our 50’s, not a great time to be looking for work. And we have that IRS audit to negotiate.

 

Yes, I have been melting down, writing my articles for $25 and $50 each, having faith that this will work out and being thankful for good health and righteous kids.

 

But, I have been worried, in a bit of a panic, and  I began to regret that I had built that website for my husband’s company–that’s how he got the email from Alberto of Mexico. This was how it all began. Was this the right direction to go, or just a WGC (wild goose chase)?

 

From January to June, Gene has been in Mexico with Alberto, more days there than home. It has been hard for both of us and the fam.  It has cost money we don’t have and hope —  that for me was beginning to falter.

 

Last Sunday, I went to church, praying to hear the word of the Lord, exhausted from all the uncertainty, sat down and picked up the hymn book for the opening song.

 

Immediately I knew that this was one of those tender mercies from the Lord. He was aware of my conflicted heart.

 

Be Still My Soul
 
Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
 Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697

 

During the sacrament, I pulled out my iphone to read some scriptures, when I opened the application, the screen had a conference talk, President Henry B. Eyring, “Trust in God Then Go and Do”:

 

“Your needs are great and varied. Each of you is a unique child of God. God knows you indiviually. He sends messages of encouragement, correction, and direction fitted to you and to your needs.”

There was much more in that talk, directed to me. I’m thankful for that little miracle — words of comfort, those tender mercies from the Lord, because the chaos will be ordered, I do believe.